:)

What does it all mean anyways.
What does it all fucking mean.

Where things aren't found

i might actually start blogging here more often

Own property?

Or simply claimed "first".
Who cares.
That's how it works, always has worked, and always will work.

i don't like it when people seem to claim it to be theirs

when it has obviously been inspired by someone else

and then i don't like it when they end up getting credit for it

when they obviously do not deserve it




as per usual

"who needs friends"

Perfectly satisfying life. Material, love from a significant other, care from family and friends. What more?

i think i may be having the early symptoms of depression.
No, I am not overexaggerating.
It's not like my father or mother don't have it already - stress, anxiety, what not.
I have been influenced.

No I do not want to go to a councellor 'cos I am very aware of my
little self esteem and confidence
And I know everybody has a bit of that. But it seems to be constant and persistent for me.

Odd because it's normally caused by somebody putting pressure on you.
But nobody is pressuring me. I'm pressuring myself. I'm giving myself pressure. Things to achieve, things to expect.
I am totally and fully aware that I should think positive, simply do my best, forget about the others and that as long as I do that I have already succeeded. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

BUT I CAN'T CHANGE CAN I?
WHAT IS THIS?
WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? OTHER THAN DEPRESSION?
CONSTANTLY PUTTING MYSELF DOWN.
CONSTANTLY BEING ANGRY (no not just the regular pmsing).
and with my introspective nature, it's not a surprise.

Fucking school, fuck everything. Just fuck.