raw

moved to:

2011-04-04T22:15:00.000+10:00

2010-09-05T10:10:00.002+10:00

This girl named Cathy on youtube (does hair/makeup tutorials) who is ALSO from AUSTRALIA (not enough australians on youtube - seriously) really makes me wanna do tutorials too.........but I'm just so lazy... and I don't wanna get walked-in by parents who think I'm crazy, talking to myself... :S anyways, here's her blogspot if you're interested: http://cookie093.blogspot.com/
She does a lot of give-aways too, which is always worth a try! here's one of them:

should have written this a while ago

2010-08-31T23:35:00.000+10:00

moved to tumblr

nb:

2010-02-27T23:45:00.002+11:00

remember to use knowledge as a source of inspiration for great pieces of writing...

overrated

2010-01-11T14:19:00.000+11:00

life is such a load of crap.

the world never stops whining.

2009-12-25T21:12:00.001+11:00

fat? complaints
skinny? complaints

what the fuq does the world want from us these days.

x_x; mas

2009-12-25T10:43:00.000+11:00

A quiet christmas - in bed - not feeling well..
:( I miss kennyyy, I wanted to spend more time with him during this time of the year. Sigh o well hopefully new years will be good.

irritation beyond the limits

2009-11-19T21:59:00.000+11:00

fuqing hell

Call me old fashioned

2009-11-19T11:38:00.000+11:00

I wonder if people feel ashamed when they find themselves pregnant at 23 and they still look heck young like 19 or something...

Disgusting

My brain hasn't the capacity.

2009-11-12T11:07:00.004+11:00

Chemistry would have been the easy exam if people knew there stuff. I didn't, cos I suck at it.

I also dislike inconsiderate people who feel they have to voice their opinions of how their exam went. Have they ever thought about other people's feelings? and perhaps no one really cares, frankly, how you went, and even maybe that you're not the only one who sat the bloody exam. It isn't about you.

Nevertheless, I don't really care how I went on that, that will be my bottom subject, 7th one. So it's kool.

But having said that, I don't reckon I'm gonna get a very high enter.. I'm even worried I won't get my course (high 80s).

Last exam tomorrow - art. I have to remind myself to stay focused, and refrain from trying to judge my capabilities or to hold expectations - this will only make me more anxious when sitting the exam.

CONGRATS TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE FINISHED THEIR EXAMS!! YOU GUYS NOW ARE LITERALLY - PHYSICALLY - MENTALLY - EMOTIONALLY - AND POSSIBLY EVEN PARENTLESSLY: FREE!

2009-11-11T17:27:00.000+11:00

sick of all this bullocks.

more bitter than sweet

2009-10-30T18:09:00.003+11:00

i live a miserable life, with a miserable self esteem

it's not like i walk into my favourite subject, thus best possible exam with a negative outlook, i actually thought i'd be okay considering how much work i've done. But i was wrong, i let chance get the better of me.

don't ask me how it went. don't wish me luck.
don't come prancing towards me or anyone with smiles all round assuming that we might have felt just as good as you did after it
make no assumptions
don't make people feel like shit by rubbing your success in their face

make no such mistakes.

I know numbers don't mean anything, but it means a lot to my self esteem

2009-10-19T16:42:00.001+11:00

I pray to god, that he'll have me succeed. Give me a wonderful number for my enter, like a 90 or above, so that at least I don't feel so worthless and stupid all the time.

it's about school

2009-09-17T21:10:00.001+10:00

depressed and unmotivated.
just gonna watch vids and try again another day.

2009-08-22T23:51:00.000+10:00

en oh

2009-08-13T21:43:00.003+10:00

"love the people who treat you right..."

it's true, you can love those who treat you kindly, sweetly, and all the corny crap. whether it is genuine is a different story...

friendship can last without spending everyday with them, it can last without the compliments, it can last without gifts and sugar coated words. But it won't last without justice, altruism, encouragement, or genuine care/concern for one another.

cos that's what really matters

go on, boast, cos we allll wanna hear it.

2009-08-12T20:33:00.002+10:00

let's sing the - I don't care song.

I don't care about all your little achievements, nor do I care of how you feel so good about yourself at this point.
Gosh, blogging is really about the self centred and self absorbed and constantly cries "look at me look at me, my life is interesting and all things wonderful, envy me"

- she was right, I sure hope I ain't like that, if it's one thing I'm certain of, it's that none of the above are my intentions.

ps. I wish I had of continued debating from year 10?....the amount of travelling to diff schools to debate is ridiculously time consuming and hasseling. I guess you can't do everything in life ey.

at least i won't regret this aspect of my life

2009-08-06T22:16:00.002+10:00

music, i wouldn't have it any other way

More is a man, a very difficult one at that

2009-08-05T16:10:00.002+10:00

A Man For All Seasons is a great text.
But I didn't do it justice.

AND IT'S SUCH A FRKN PITY T_______T

2009-07-31T09:29:00.001+10:00

very much peed off

2009-07-29T19:40:00.001+10:00

there is something evidently wrong with me

2009-07-27T16:09:00.001+10:00

SuperRookie01.1
by elvis200812

the quiet life

2009-07-19T17:22:00.001+10:00

i frkn swear

experiencing what keats had

2009-07-16T19:11:00.001+10:00

it really does all become good, when understanding is enhanced on a whole new level.

John Keats (1795–1821). The Poetical Works of John Keats. 1884.

24. On first looking into Chapman’s Homer


MUCH have I travell’d in the realms of gold,
And many goodly states and kingdoms seen;
Round many western islands have I been
Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold.
Oft of one wide expanse had I been told	5
That deep-brow’d Homer ruled as his demesne;
Yet did I never breathe its pure serene
Till I heard Chapman speak out loud and bold:
Then felt I like some watcher of the skies
When a new planet swims into his ken;	10
Or like stout Cortez when with eagle eyes
He star’d at the Pacific—and all his men
Look’d at each other with a wild surmise—
Silent, upon a peak in Darien.

i must learn to take my own advice.

2009-07-13T22:11:00.002+10:00

if i could complete all my work to an earlier date, allow myself for more revision time,
i would probably most likely enjoy my subjects more, and hence excel in areas i wouldn't have thought i could otherwise.

if only hey.

2009-07-12T20:43:00.000+10:00

i can't believe i need to be saying this, but fuq, i need to get out more.

i believe in fate

2009-07-11T20:53:00.000+10:00

today was one heck of a day

2009-07-09T16:12:00.001+10:00

i want to be a witty writer
i want to know how to make my own clothes too

lost, baffled, to say the most

2009-07-09T00:32:00.000+10:00

i don't need to think anything

?

2009-07-07T12:55:00.000+10:00

dare i question that unconditional love

d - pressed

2009-07-06T23:00:00.001+10:00

gonna knuckle down into some homework tomorrow, it's about time i did.

2009-06-28T23:41:00.001+10:00

silence .................. is golden

hysterical

2009-06-28T00:15:00.004+10:00

Since I've been so deprived of the internet, the irony of having to "catch up on blogs" is a little startling.

I have to catch up on life if anything...

*readers chuckle - "ya think?"*

i am very irritated at the moment

2009-04-28T20:51:00.000+10:00

because i'm always irritated, and all the other negative feelings available in the english vocabularly.

this is not how you care

2009-04-07T16:37:00.001+10:00

fkn hell, stop fussing would you.

No more dreading, no more brooding (even though easier said than done)

2009-03-31T18:19:00.002+11:00

Already a third of the way through...
all the more reason to spend it to the best of my abilities.

2009-03-21T20:17:00.002+11:00

When you ask if I'm alright, you ask because you want to feel the satisfaction of being right.
You don't genuinly care.

2009-03-12T16:09:00.000+11:00

my dad is a tight arse. and is plain rude.

i end my case.

When you thought everything was dandy

2009-03-11T20:00:00.002+11:00

conditions, always apply.

You'll always want what you can't have, even whilst you know it.

ain't like that no more

2009-02-18T22:03:00.001+11:00

sadness
&
pity

the two i feel right now

be the competer

2009-02-09T21:51:00.001+11:00

Don't be like them.
Excel from the rest.
And prove that you're not your own hypocrite.

in order to culminate vce, i should think like this.

2009-01-24T23:12:00.003+11:00

(psh) i can do better than that.
just give it more hard work - and i could be the best.

Life; there's more to it.

2009-01-19T18:31:00.004+11:00

I've only just got here, and I already feel like im beyond all of it.

some say one day, lucky for some one day is today

2009-01-18T20:54:00.002+11:00

You know, not many parents approve of their daughters having a boyfriend.
And so I'm lucky to not have anything drastic happening to us at the moment.
I should be glad about that.

Even though, some are luckier - (in that they are allowed to have a boyfriend at this age), I surely should not go cry in my imaginery little corner, moping about how unfair it is that, that can't be me either.

Still, I can't say that I'm not envious of those who are allowed.
I don't like lying, definately not to my parents. But some things - you just have to sacrafice.

Do everything else right, and I won't have to feel so guilty about this?

Only God knows, and I hope he understands.

In terms of wearing

2009-01-08T23:35:00.003+11:00

I always strive to be at least a little bit different (though I might not succeed, I can't be sure of what people think of me...)
because boy do i hate those tbs.
(Esspecially the viet kind) sorry to be racist, i'm half viet myself so it's pretty obvious im not very patriotic.
Just as i was telling kenny,
they all seem to look like that typical lady at those asian clothing stores liek Why Not etc.
Not only is it some what amusing, it's also quite irritating.

Daymn I'm a hard arse.

Criticise because

2009-01-01T23:25:00.001+11:00

I'm just jealous I can't do the same
or feel that I shouldn't do the same

when in life, we should do whatever we want
as long as it makes us happy.

:)

2008-12-15T13:24:00.001+11:00

What does it all mean anyways.
What does it all fucking mean.

Where things aren't found

2008-12-12T22:48:00.001+11:00

i might actually start blogging here more often

Own property?

2008-12-11T22:01:00.004+11:00

Or simply claimed "first".
Who cares.
That's how it works, always has worked, and always will work.

i don't like it when people seem to claim it to be theirs

when it has obviously been inspired by someone else

and then i don't like it when they end up getting credit for it

when they obviously do not deserve it

as per usual

2008-12-09T17:53:00.001+11:00

"who needs friends"

Perfectly satisfying life. Material, love from a significant other, care from family and friends. What more?

2008-11-15T11:39:00.003+11:00

i think i may be having the early symptoms of depression.
No, I am not overexaggerating.
It's not like my father or mother don't have it already - stress, anxiety, what not.
I have been influenced.

No I do not want to go to a councellor 'cos I am very aware of my
little self esteem and confidence
And I know everybody has a bit of that. But it seems to be constant and persistent for me.

Odd because it's normally caused by somebody putting pressure on you.
But nobody is pressuring me. I'm pressuring myself. I'm giving myself pressure. Things to achieve, things to expect.
I am totally and fully aware that I should think positive, simply do my best, forget about the others and that as long as I do that I have already succeeded. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

BUT I CAN'T CHANGE CAN I?
WHAT IS THIS?
WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? OTHER THAN DEPRESSION?
CONSTANTLY PUTTING MYSELF DOWN.
CONSTANTLY BEING ANGRY (no not just the regular pmsing).
and with my introspective nature, it's not a surprise.

Fucking school, fuck everything. Just fuck.

2008-10-27T17:38:00.001+11:00

at this stage, i simply want to be a high school drop out. kill me now.

Wishes sealed in a blog

2008-10-21T16:03:00.001+11:00

pretty peed off.
but as long as i do well in my studies and work hard, is all that matters right??
anything else is only a bit of hard work away yeah??
see vce as a job right??

:'(

defeated?
not in your wildest dream bitches!

i send my wishes to all the year 12s and best of luck! <3

WYD

2008-07-24T21:35:00.003+10:00

A pivitol journey has taken toll on people's lives;
The pinnacle of their youth,
A life changing experience (good and bad),
Why didn't I see it coming?

Why of course I did.
And it's exhilirating, amazing, and somehow very admiring.

Is there such a thing as Copyright?

2008-05-14T17:05:00.002+10:00

Oh, haha...so that's what you were talking about.
I know, it looks awfully familiar don't it?
Just makes it alittle harder for me to explore more explicitely my creativity within..............
which often doesn't just 'come' as often as I'd like it to.

Pity how it could feel that one has taken credit,
when people probably know they've seen such a thing before.
Hopefully, I have left my mark...

Dimensions of art and design eventually reaches a halt.
And then it is recreated, redeveloped by many many people.
Just got to remember and accept the bloody fact.

when i care too much

2008-04-09T20:07:00.001+10:00

what if i tried to get somebody back on track?
it's not because i like to sound righteous or to be a mother or to be a smart arse, but because i know she still has the capability and mentality to be able to change in a better way.then again,

who am i to say what's good and what's not?
quite a complex matter actually.

really, i should just mind my own business, otherwise she might think i'm critisizing more than helping.or otherwise, something might backfire and i'd get offended and pissed off.

not good for neither of us huh?
sucks.
sucks to feel that you kinda lost what you used to have, not that they were a good influence newais. but it was fun sometimes, while it lasted. *shrugs* :)

2008-04-07T18:03:00.000+10:00

I need to stop hating, wtf did they ever do to you.

It must be jealousy, pity, and shame.

Competing with mates, will ruin mates?

2008-04-05T18:50:00.004+11:00

unless you're not selfish about it....

I can't expect to gain everything myself, when I've asked for their company, right?
I just hope she doesn't beat me to it.

Don't you hate competition.

oh what the heck.

no i still don't know when i get me braces off, cry cry

2008-03-28T20:32:00.001+11:00

i want my braces off alreadyyyyyyyyyy, i've had them on for more than 3 yearssssssssss D: :'(

Here I sit, sit I here.

2008-03-27T17:33:00.002+11:00

Staying home, on a cold autumn's day, with nothing but homework to do...
is driving me insane.
I'm not even doing the bloody homework.
It's too freaking cold, and all I want to do is sit in bed with my laptop, and youtube.
And, I want to stay off the floor as much as possible, because there was a cocroach in my room that I can't seem to find and kill. So now it's probably lurking behind dark corners or intertwined with cables and wires - but I don't dare look to see.
That's why I'm on my bed - and you don't tend to do much in bed.
You kind of actually need a desk and a chair to do - at least your maths homework on.

But I'm not even youtubing. Cos I know I shouldn't. And I know I shouldn't be on; mypace, blogspot, livejournal, xanga, either. But I was and I am.
The guilt and regret proceeeeeeeeeds.
So I stop.
But I do nothing.
Either way I lose.

Rofl. This is turning into a gay blog.

bad personalities are easy to catch onto

2008-03-12T20:33:00.002+11:00

All of a sudden i've gotten more precautious of copy-cats.
I got over it ages ago, but it's starting to creep back in a g a i n n n n n n ...

Anyways, i really hate my chem and methods teacher. That teacher - being the same for both - quite unfortunately.
She teaches jackshit, and it just so happens to be two of my weakest subject. (methods i could be good at {i admit} IF i had a better teacher than this mf.)
Farrrrrrr frkn out. I swear I am very very very agrovated, angry, fustrated. Can't fkn breath. Need to breath. Need to bloody lecture this lady. Bad thing is, I only hate her for her teaching methods. Her personality is alright (when not teaching - like most teachers). But her teaching has gotten to the point where I would just fkn hate her overall.
Cos of her I spend most of my time brooding over shit I can't do cos I've never been taught it properly at skool. SCHOOL = WHERE YOU LEARN YOUR SHIT. NOT TUTOR. TUTOR = HELP YOU WITH UR CRAP. NOT FKN TEACH. TEACHERS AT SKOOL DO THAT FKN JOB. WE PAY FEES TO BE TAUGHT. NOT TO BE SET A HEAVY LOAD OF HOMEWORK IN WHICH WE CAN'T DO ANYWAYS COS WE NEVER LEARNT IT. OR ARE SOMEHOW JUST THERE FOR US TO MAGICALLY TEACH OURSELVES COS WE'RE SUCH SMART KIDS.

NO.

UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE NOT ALL THAT BRIGHT. fkfkfk.
DON'T FKN GIVE A FK. IM GONNA SIT HERE ON MY HINE ARSE AND WAIT FOR U FKR TO TEACH ME THE SHIT. NOT GONNA GET ANYONE ELSE TO TEACH ME IT UNTIL U FRKN TEACH ME. OK? OK?. fkfkfk, not gonna give u the money for getting other ppl to fkn teach me.

i am very angry.

inevitable nature of hate?

2008-02-17T22:19:00.002+11:00

My conscience:

Don't be such a bitch Emily.
Just cos you think you've been there and done that,
doesn't mean you can't still show some sympathy.

Me:

Yeah, I know, but something inside of me just won't forgive.

2008-02-14T17:50:00.001+11:00

I should choose..............not to get involved.

please excuse my indecent language.

2008-02-09T22:25:00.000+11:00

FUCK.
I'm SO irritated.
And I'm not quite sure what.
It's just an accumulated bunch of thoughts that is pissing the hell out of me.
o-m-f-g.

Busted!

2008-02-09T17:39:00.000+11:00

It's funny to know that people sometimes really do ask you for your email for the reason of "having more contacts". Maybe they don't really have the intention of looking more "popular". But merely asking a girl in your class for her email just for the sake of "getting to know her" (which note; in the end takes months to add you, so that when she finally does, you forget who she is) only seems to prove that she just wanted to have that feeling of "knowing a lot of people".
Yes, it just happened to me.

So this chick was in my class last term. And she's in my class this term too.
She added me a while ago - but I never really knew, or probably forgot, what her email was.
Though I distinctinctly remember that she asked me for my email first.
And oddly enough - isn't it the person who adds you, who should approach you on msn first? or at least remeber who you are? Not the other way around?

No, I'm not offended or mad at her at all. lol, it just tells you something about the other person.

{as posted on xanga}

overboard

2008-02-08T23:43:00.000+11:00

Not everything is fun and games all the time.
-.-